Not yet.

So I told myself I was over this.

Yeah, right.

For some reason watching the football game on Saturday made me feel like crawling out of my skin and dying. I'm not really sure why.

Maybe it's because I was really hungover.

Maybe it's because I knew she was down there, in front of all those people, doing something she had talked about since before I left for Japan. I mean, she was actually there! In Memorial Stadium! Back during tryouts, I think everybody believed in her but herself.

But she was there!

And I guess the part that hurt the worst was knowing she was there, and now knowing that I'm not a part of her life anymore.