So this blog has been around for a bit more than a year, and in honor of that (and the fact that I'm running out of non-depressing things to write) I've decided to ask myself a few questions. Inspired by a thread over at Metafilter, I've borrowed/come up with some questions that one is supposed to ask himself once a year.

Hopefully next year when I'm doing this list I can look back and say that I've made some kind of progress in my life. And by the way, this is the first time I've ever done a list of any sort on here, so don't expect to see one again until next year.

What did you regret this year?
Spending half of my time in Japan being ashamed of who I am. All the lies. All the bullshit. All the hate. Not spending enough time with the teachers.

What did you celebrate?
Birthdays and weddings and children and the Japanese national soccer team. School and work and completion of the language program at Senshu University. Us.

Who was the most interesting new person you met?
Sara Shirk and Takayuki Hasegawa.

Who do you wish you spent more time with?
Sara, Yuki, Hisayo and the teachers at Senshu Matsudo Junior High School.

What new quality or trait did you develop (or improve upon)?
Speaking Japanese, and learning how to drink like a real college student.

What was the best use of your time? What do you wish you'd spent less time on?
Studying, studying, studying. By far the best use of my time. I wish I had spent less time sleeping.

How did your views on major issues (politics? morals? religion?) change or shift?
I'm a lot more apathetic now. That revolutionary fire that used to burn deep down in my heart is sort of gone. I just... don't... care anymore. My political views are like a deflating balloon. My morals are the same as ever.

When you review your journals in another year, how would you like to feel about what you've learned, how you've invested your time, the kind of person you've been?
That I've moved from dwelling on things and making excuses to taking responsibility and moving on. That I've spent my time learning, but not neglecting fun. That I've been the kind of person who can't hate himself. That I've been infectious, adventurous, and above all, able to bite my tongue when necessary.

Am I treating myself how I deserve to be treated?
Half-no and Half-yes. It's a long road to the top, but I'm getting there, slowly but surely.

What three things would I like to be able to write in my entry for next year that I am not in a place to do this year?
1: I can speak Spanish. 2: I'm not embarrassed to be myself. 3: I spread more love than hate.

List five things you're sure of.
My mom loves me. There are still some good people left in the world. Japan will wait for me. Self-limitations are bullshit. What we had in December was real.

What foods have your forced yourself to eat?
Natto

Who have you apologized to? Why?
To Sara, because I didn't know what to say. To Yuki, for making her cry, again and again. To Yumi, for everything. To my sister, for everything from elementary school up to the present. To my friends, for ruining things.

What excuses are you making?
Blaming Japan for things that were my fault. Blaming my hair for the way people treat me.

What would you like to steal?
Someone's heart.

What risks have you taken?
Leaving the girl I loved.

What did you chicken out of doing?
Eating meat.

What gifts have you given?
Definitely not enough.

What have you done without taking credit?
I'm not sure. (Wrong answer, I know)

Did anything make you cry this year? What was it?
Leaving Sara. Losing Sara.

What made you angry?
That there are people who are better at Japanese than me. That I can't control my emotions. That I can't yet be the person I really want to be.

What are you scared of?
Becoming unable to escape this place.

What things, activities, etc. do you most enjoy?
Speaking a foreign language. Airplanes. Soup. Hot, dark nights. Sharing a bed. Sleeping on the floor. Waking up to the sun. Riding my bike. Being drunk. Neon. Exercise. Crowded trains. Udon & Okonomiyaki. Yoyogi Park. Walking around Tokyo. Grocery stores. Sleep. Sweat. Wrapping my dreads in a towel after a hot shower. The Dirty South.

Are you happy?
Generally speaking, yes.

Do you like yourself? Do you think you would like someone else who was you?
I like myself, but I am completely incompatible as a friend with someone exactly like myself (I think...)

What is important?
Yourself. Your mom. Smiles.

By the way, if anyone decides to do this list for themselves, leave a little link in the comments, or something.