Do you ever wish you were living someone else's life?

Like when I'm leaving work just a little before 1 a.m.--the asphalt is practically coated with the sticky, autumnal moisture, the frat boys are hanging out on their porch with their sorority girls... people who aren't me are walking by--and I just can't stop thinking about how much I'd like to be one of them.

I'm just unlocking my bike, just riding home, just me. Just every night.

Nights like these were meant to be enjoyed with someone you can touch. Someone you can grip. Someone who will grip you back and stare into the sky with you and sweat with you that hot darkness.

They weren't meant to be alone.

I should have joined a frat when I was a freshman.

I can't shake the feeling that my entire life has been one big "I should have done this."

I can't stop thinking that I'm having the wrong college experience.

I hate knowing that people are out enjoying this perfect evening, and I'm... here.

When I was a kid I used to watch movies and hate the kissing scenes. Why the hell were those included anyway?

But then the other day I saw one.

It was one of those ridiculous, never-going-to-happen-in-real-life type of things: two people connect after their plane crashes on an island in the South pacific...

Pretty fantastic stuff.

But I was watching this, and it made me sort of happy.

It sort of made me forget everything for a minute, and I was that guy in the jungle, with that perfect girl. Our plane had crashed but there we were, in the moment, and everything was perfect.

And I mean, that's what movies are for, I know. To escape and to feel good, and all that.

I just feel really dumb that they affect me this way now.

I guess there's a lot wrong with me.