It's weird because I'm not homesick for Japan.

I'm not going to say I'm homesick.

Because I'm not.

But there's definitely something that is making my heart hurt. Something really tugging at it hard. Every now and then--maybe when I'm driving or walking or just about to lay down for bed--I get this sort of dull pain in my chest that just sucks the air right out of my lungs.

It's when a suffocating flood of images, emotions and memories just stream right back into the front part of my brain and start exploding like fireworks.

No memory in particular.

No real person in particular.

Just a sort of overall feeling.

And then I catch my breath and listen to my heart beating so much faster than normal, and I ask myself, "What if I hadn't come home?"