They don't sip on malt liquor here.

No, Tokyo's less privileged--those who can't afford the nomihoudais and all night, alcohol-fueled karaoke sessions that so many salarymen enjoy nightly--prefer to take pulls off of "One Cup," an aptly titled drink that is--literally--one cup of hard alcohol.

With a convenient snap or screw on lid, "One Cup" can be easily concealed in a coat-pocket or a pair of large hands; however, hiding alcohol on the street is completely unnecessary, considering there are no open container laws in Japan--though what fun is that, really? There's nothing naughty about drinking in front of police when it's legal.

But, besides being the drink of choice for Tokyo's poor, "One Cup" does have some other commonalities with the malt liquor that infects the same demographic in America. Just as there are endless varieties of 40 ounce brews in the back of your neighborhood convenience store--High Life, Mickeys, Camo XXL, etc--so too are there endless types of "Cups" to choose from.

The original, "One Cup."

The (perhaps?) more potent, "Supercup."

The "1.5 Cup."

And of course "2 Cup."

These humble, colorless, odorless delicacies for derelicts exist nearly anywhere food can be bought in Japan--from the tiniest "Conbini" to the largest of department stores. They fill shelf space in Family Mart, just next to the Jack Daniels; they are across from the milk in AM/PM, and they are buried in aisle four of the alcohol section in Shinjuku's most bizarre and sprawling department store: the labyrinth like Don Quixote.

And if it's not weird enough that you can buy a drink called "One Cup" in a store named after a 17th century Spanish novel featuring an idealistic and impractical protagonist, just consider that you can also purchase a Hello Kitty brand vibrator, a motorcycle helmet, your groceries, Marijuana scented incense, soil for potting, and even that saddle shaped massage machine you needed--all while listening to the stores jingle repeat endlessly: "Don Don Don, Don Qui! Don Don Don, Don Qui!"

Of course, if you just walked a few blocks from Kabukicho to pick up a "One Cup," that's fine, too.