Only talk when you can't hear me.

Raindrops fall on my umbrella and skid down onto my hood.

If it's raining heavy, the drops make their way to my forehead and tickle my eyebrows.

I'm standing in a puddle, typhoon on the horizon, waiting for a train and dreaming about the near future as music shoots through my headphones and into my skull: November in Kyoto with Hisayo, Numa and Reiko. Dreaming, dreaming.

Days like today give me a place to hide, to drop below the surface and swim in my own mind, alone on a crowded train, hood down, head down, dreaming. No exchange students speaking at escalated volume, proud tongues protruding sharply. No annoyances. No nothing, just rain and dreams.

Anticipation.

In November the rain will disappear and I will board a shinkansen with three friends.

Three Japanese friends.

Get me out of this dorm and into the future: speeding to the East, to Osaka and the unknown, with three girls who won't let me speak English. A dream, a dream, a dream. Five days of freedom from the west, five days with a clear head.

Exit from this place and its incessant static is more than a spatial transition, it is removal to a quite, clear place where one can see for miles. Get me away from the exchange students, the know-it-alls and the loud-mouths. Isolate me. Bury me.

Remove their vocal chords.

Remove my ears.

Get me to the future.

To descend from these vague, grainy rain clouds for a moment: in November, Osaka and Kyoto will be my temporal home, a Japanese inn the spot where I will lay my head, next to Reiko, Numa and Hisayo, though the room will be our last stop each evening, the end of overflowing days.

Back to the sky, raindrops falling up.

Only talk when you can't hear me.

Can't wake up until I'm sleeping.

Posted by brett at 04:13 AM Tokyo time

Comments

Keep your own pace__I believe you've already found it. You don't have to assimilate totally. Me neither. This is what I've been thinking for these days. It's OK not to make things obvious.

Posted by Masaki on October 20, 2004 11:47 AM Tokyo time

OMFG FOURSOME BRAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111

Posted by Chris on October 22, 2004 08:36 AM Tokyo time

being on crowed trains or in crowded streets and yet totally alone is refreshingly wonderful. it wasn't until the last two times i went to new york that i could do this. where i sat and read on the subway, taking the subway just for the sake of being in a void, a place where i was among strangers and answered to nobody. relish it, and your escape from it.

Posted by lis on October 23, 2004 02:02 AM Tokyo time

I hope I am not one of the people you so dislike but having little/no Japanese or lacking the confidence to speak the Japanese I know makes communication in Japanese difficult. Going to bars etc. is also a fun way to meet Japanese students.

Posted by Neil on October 25, 2004 02:28 PM Tokyo time

neil, i like you a lot. seriously.

thanks for the melon pan the other day. dont worry. you are a fucking cool dude, to be sure.

my writing is just writing. i dont mean much by it, honestly, and i especially understand being a beginning in learning something, i remember when i was just starting, its hard.

Posted by brett on October 26, 2004 04:08 AM Tokyo time
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